


The Ultimatum

by crmsndragonwngs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Experimental Style, Gen, Implied/Referenced Torture, Psychological Torture, flippancy regarding torture, torture rationalization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 09:14:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4601301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crmsndragonwngs/pseuds/crmsndragonwngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The subtle differences are the ones most often taken for granted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ultimatum

**Author's Note:**

> Um, so I wasn't sure if I should post this or not. ~~In fact, I'm going to hold off on posting it to my tumblr for a little while.~~ (Hello Tumblr :P) Just, please note that those torture tags are there for a reason. The story itself doesn't go much into the graphic details, but there's lots of disturbing flippancy _regarding_ the torture. I think it's in character for ghoul!Seidou, but it's still disturbing so please read at your own risk.
> 
> Basically, this is an experiment. It's really late and I've had a bad day, so this is almost a vent piece, I guess. Anyway, feedback is greatly appreciated :) And, uh...sorry in advance *shuffles feet*

There is a very, very fine line between _good enough_ and _could have been better_. Some people get lost in the idea of first and second, but that’s not the difference that hurts the most. 

Seidou learned this when he woke up and discovered his missing arm. 

He found the exact moment when good enough _becomes_ could have been better when it grew back.

That arm meant many things in that moment. It meant that he lost his arm. It meant that he miraculously got it back. It meant that _that_ was no miracle at all.

But most of all, it meant that the pang of grief he felt at its loss should have been the _good enough_ , because the ghoul part sure as hell was the _could have been better_.

On the one hand, he was glad he didn’t have to go through life with only one arm, but was an arm worth the loss of humanity?

Luckily, the whole subject was moot the moment Tatara walked in.

On the other hand, Tatara presented an entirely new scenario to fit into Seidou’s newfound binary.

No arm, or new arm.

One hand, or the other hand.

Humans or ghouls.

Losing his fingernails wasn’t so bad, in hindsight, because losing whole fingers was much worse. The same went for his toes. Losing an eye (or two) was fine because, in retrospect, having all manner of insect shoved into his ears (and kept there) did far more damage.

They said something about Kaneki Ken having centipedes taped into his head. They wondered if other crawling things would work just as well.

This or that.

First or second.

Kaneki or Takizawa.

The real coin toss, though, was the hunger.

Starvation was definitely the _good enough_ here, and he should have settled for it, but he just couldn’t stop whining. He was hungry, so hungry, but filling that hunger was what really broke him.

Well, that and his want for freedom.

See, being caged is hell, but setting a wild animal loose when he’s desperate for food is a realm all its own.

He wanted to go home, so he did. He wanted his mama’s food, so he ate some. He wanted so many things, so he took them.

They gave him freedom because he wanted it. They gave him food because he wanted it.

The cage should have been good enough. So, too, should have been the hunger.

The really tragic thing is, in the end, he was still forced to choose the cage. He hated it until they gave him the leash, and that was worse, too (so many people, oh god, oh god).

Here or there.

Freedom or fear.

His family or his own survival.

Isn’t it funny that, when this all began, he’d told the world he didn’t want to die?

Because, now, dying should have been good enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, you made it to the end! Awesome! 
> 
> So, now that you're here, I've been thinking about doing some Touka/Nishiki and maybe some Touhide? I'd also like to start doing more fluff pieces, but angst is obviously my genre of choice, lol. 
> 
> Anyway, I am hesitantly open to requests, but I'm super picky about what I will and will not write. I'd much rather get suggestions or ideas, that way I'm not letting anyone down. So, please send your ideas my way!!


End file.
